I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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