remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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