i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But break dance skills will only take you so far
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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