its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
