when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
