If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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