suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
