My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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