He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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