I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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