we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
