I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
