Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No subtext here. People are naked.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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