Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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