you win again, gameday.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
