My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My bed smells like the plague
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
