So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
love makes seman taste better
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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