oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You made out with two different species that night
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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