i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
