what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
