sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
