the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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