Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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