How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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