I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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