and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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