i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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