Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize