Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
