people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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