areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
