Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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