Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
