My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
