i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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