i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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