strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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