ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize