just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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