North Korea, Best Korea!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
