Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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