Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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