I'm jealous of your bromance
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
