I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
