i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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