Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize