I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
