Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
