so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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