ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
