We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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