My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This is classic penis vs brain.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
