I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
