very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
