So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
